About Accepting Your “Why”
Giving up…kinda
I used to pride myself in averaging 20 stories per month but ever since the start of 2023, 20 has been a flipped digit in terms of my monthly averages.
Yes, these days it has felt like a miracle just to publish 02 stories a month. Not even the exciting changes on the platform could get me writing again.
It got so bad that on top of deleting my previously written stories, I was increasingly visiting the settings page so that I could permanently delete my account.
I would love to say that I didn’t delete my account because of the great community here, but no. I stayed for the money. This is the first thing I’ve learned in my journey back — Accept your why.
Accepting Your “Why”
Your reason for doing something will always determine how far you are willing to go toward accomplishing that thing. But equally important is the extent to which you accept or make peace with your reason for doing it.
At this point in my life, money is a strong motivator for me to do anything. Maybe it is because I need it for my upcoming surgery, or to feel like I’m not a 30-year-old loser, or whatever. I just know it's the reason why I signed up to write on this platform in the first place.
Over the years, I tried to make it less important. I tried to come up with different reasons as to why I was here, thereby neglecting the truth that started it all.
The problem was that now, with “fake” reasons, I was out of alignment with what my life needed to find order. This allowed anxiety and insecurity to creep back into my life.
There are some people who don’t care about the money and are here for the great stories. To either tell, or read, these stories. I think that if these people abandoned this reason, and focused on making money, for instance, they would go through the same horrible experience as I did.
None of us is special but we each have unique lives that require different things at any point in time to find order. The more you accept what your life needs, the more momentum and fulfilment you will have in your life.
Conclusion
I want to take a break from writing on this platform. Honestly, I think I’ve been on a break for the past few months. I realize that using Medium as a vehicle to correct my financial situation is a waste of time. But I have also found so much fulfilment in telling good stories and I want to come back to this platform with that motivation as my only motivation.
To do this, I have and am still building other income streams, and this is going really well. I think that getting my financial situation in order will allow me to finally return here with more helpful motivations.
I don’t know how long my break will be… I have already taken too long.. Maybe it could be a couple of days or several years. But for the time being, it was really fun discovering my voice on this platform as well as reading about other people’s perspectives.
Till our ideas meet again…
